CAYO COCO, CUBA – Mother of three, Tricia Spumante, was eagerly awaiting her much needed vacation at an all inclusive resort when it struck her that she had to unpack all the guilt that was accompanying her on the trip.
“I am so grateful to go on vacation,” said Spumante, who recently arrived at the Hotel Sol. “I just feel bad leaving my girls at home. And also I am unsure of how to tip the staff here.”
Spumante was overwhelmed at first, unsure if she should even be unpacking at all, since she was only staying for four days. But after several blended mojitos she found herself easily unpacking all of her guilt, stating, “Oh shoot, I just remembered I have to buy everyone I know who didn’t come with me on this vacation a gift!”
“This woman’s guilt was unbelievable,” said hotel maid Sera Feliz. “The minute she entered the lobby, I could tell by her sensible Birkenstocks, that she was gonna have a lot of guilt.”
While Spumante was attempting to enjoy the beautiful culture and beaches of Cuba, she was still reeling over the guilt she may have forgotten at home. However, she was reassured when she found out she was able to pick up plenty of guilt at the all-inclusive she was staying at, such as the guilt from subconsciously comparing her husband to other men on the beach or guilt knowing the beach was so clean because it was completely wiped out by a hurricane, and guilt from supporting Communism.
At press time, Spumante had just finished unloading all of her guilt just in time to start packing her emotional baggage.