MOSCOW – According to sources, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is getting sick and tired of having to spend much of his day “chilling” with Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Snowden, who …
Tag: Vladimir Putin
World Leaders march in Paris to defend their exclusive right to suppress journalists
PARIS – Dozens of World Leaders joined yesterday’s Charlie Hebdo solidarity march to send a message to terrorists that intimidation of media will not be tolerated, unless they are the ones doing …
Harper tells Putin to ‘get out of Ukraine’
At the G20 Conference in Australia last weekend, Prime Minister Harper had a brief showdown with Russian President Vladimir Putin, telling him to “Get out of Ukraine.” What’s your say? “So…
Forbes names Putin ‘World’s Most Powerful Fuckface’
NEW YORK – Thanks to a year of swaggering, unapologetic dickheaded-ness, Forbes magazine has named Vladimir Putin as the World’s Most Powerful Fuckface for the 2nd year in a row. “Whether o…
G8 meetings a ‘lot less fun’ without Putin
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – Following the suspension of Russian President Vladimir Putin from the Group of Eight, meetings between the world leaders have become “stiff”, “overly business-like”, and…
Russian Olympics security to crack down on any outward displays of pride
MOSCOW – Responding to international pressure over homophobic legislation, Russian president Vladimir Putin has announced the passing of a new universal law against displays of pride. “Russia is …
Putin vows to finish Sochi Olympic facilities in time for next Sochi Olympics
SOCHI, Russia — Amid complaints from international media that much of the Sochi olympic facilities are still under construction and the hotel accommodations essentially unlivable, Russian P…
Putin hires Cossacks to protect Sochi from terrorists, Prussians
Sochi, Russia – Following a number of high profile security threats, Russian President Vladimir Putin has retained the services of hundreds of Cossacks, once the fabled horse-backed soldier…
Putin celebrates Nobel Peace Prize nomination by eating the hearts of his enemies
RUSSIA – Russian president Vladmir Putin’s peacekeeping efforts earned him a Nobel Prize nomination last week, prompting a presidential celebration that left six Chechnyan rebel leaders dea…
Putin blames Monsanto for chemical attacks
NEW YORK – Russian military intelligence has discovered that the genetic and agricultural giant Monsanto has been engaging in chemical warfare within Syria. Putin announced this discovery after r…