No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993 (by pure coincidence the year Gary Bettman became NHL commissioner). And every year one team gets close there is a suggestion that all Canadian…
Tag: Vancouver Canucks
Winners and Losers of the 2023 NHL draft based on the 5 minutes of research I did right before it started
Another first round of the NHL draft has come and gone. And if there is one thing we know about selecting a bunch of 18 year olds to play professional hockey for our teams 1-4 years down the line…
Canucks aim to improve their reputation by hiring former player Todd Bertuzzi as Health and Fitness Coach
VANCOUVER – Faced with an onslaught of negative publicity for the way they handled the firing of Bruce Boudreau, the Vancouver Canucks are looking to gain back some popular support by hirin…
RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL’s new All-Canadian division
OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
Canucks fan doesn’t want to talk about it
VANCOUVER – Early reports indicate a Vancouver Canucks fan doesn’t want to talk about it. Thomas Sinclair of Port Moody has not made a single comment to his friends or family about his team…
The Beaverton’s NHL preview 2017-2018
The biggest question in the 2017-2018 season is this: Will Canada snap it’s 23 year drought and finally bring Lord Stanley home? The Beaverton takes a look at each Canadian team’s chances: The Va…
Canucks fire team doctor Jenny McCarthy after 5 players contract mumps
VANCOUVER – Vancouver Canucks have terminated their agreement with their team doctor, Jenny McCarthy, after 5 players contracted the mumps. The actress, model, and alternative medicine advi…
NHL Playoff Preview 2015: Western Conference
The NHL’s Western Conference playoff action is about to heat up like a Maple Leafs player on a Florida golf course in mid-April. It’s part two of The Beaverton’s NHL Playoff Pre…
Vancouver Canucks: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Vancouver Canucks Mascot: The green men’s bulge 2013-14 Season: Tired of boring things like scoring goals and having a good powerplay, the 2013-14 Canucks’ primary focus was on losing games…
John Tortorella suspended after behaving like John Tortorella
VANCOUVER – After last Saturday’s melee-filled game against Calgary, Vancouver Canucks coach John Tortorella has been given a fifteen day suspension for “behaving in a manner th…