TORONTO – Torontonian and lesser media personality Jon Stills sparked a lively online conversation last Thursday after a Twitter thread continued the longstanding and beloved Toronto pastim…
Tag: ttc
TTC tells riders who want physical distancing to only ride the Sheppard line
TORONTO – After telling riders physical distancing “will no longer be possible” on its vehicles, the TTC has clarified by pointing out that riders will easily be able to maintai…
TTC employees admit delays “just don’t feel the same” without angry commuters
TORONTO – After coronavirus has resulted in the TTC having it’s daily ridership cut in half, TTC employees have reported that they deeply miss the feeling of inconveniencing a million peopl…
TTC adequate for first time in 40 years
TORONTO – Bragging that it had been “two whole days” since they had to use shuttle buses, authorities report that for the first time since the late 20th century, Toronto’s mass transit syst…
Eglinton LRT construction extended just long enough to be cancelled at last minute
TORONTO — With the recent announcement that the long-under-construction Eglinton LRT will be completed in 2022, the TTC has assured riders that this is only to ensure that the entire projec…
Commuters warned not to retrieve items dropped on subway tracks unless it’s your phone in which case fair enough
TORONTO — Subway passengers are being warned never to attempt to reach for personal articles that have fallen onto the subway tracks, unless it’s their cell phone because how are you just g…
TTC unveils new elite fare enforcement SWAT team
TORONTO – As part of the war against fare evaders the TTC unveiled its new elite unit of fare enforcers. “Each member of our unit, codenamed the Red Rocket Berets, has extensive train…
Brand new TTC vehicle pre-emptively self-combusts to save everyone some time
TORONTO – After hearing stories about the chaos caused by Toronto Transit vehicles meeting their ends in fires, crashes, and nonstop signal problems, a new bus scheduled to begin service in Toron…
TTC to replace shuttle buses with being pushed off cliff in barrel full of eels
TORONTO – The Toronto Transit Commission announced plans today to replace their unpopular shuttle bus system with thousands of barrels stuffed with wriggling carnivorous fish. Officials promise t…
Angry tweet at TTC fixes decades of underfunding
TORONTO, ON — After a twitter user wrote “@TTCHelps 8 minute wait for the subway, why do MY tax dollars go towards such a lazy incompetent organization?”, years of problems caused by …
