MONTREAL – The nation’s top sleep researchers made a joint statement earlier today announcing that they too have no goddamn idea what to do with their arms when trying to sleep. Dr. Fran Mc…
Tag: time-travel
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
MONTREAL – Time and space as we know it was thrown into temporal flux today as protestors pulled down a statue of Sir John A. MacDonal, causing Canada’s first prime minister to be suddenly …
Scientist invents time travel to mock people in 2016 who thought things were bad then
WATERLOO, ON – Quantum physicist Agnes Chevrier announced in a press conference today that not only has she invented time travel, but she had already achieved her purpose in inventing it, w…
QUIZ: Did you time travel or just nap until it got dark out?
The passing of early dawn to high noon followed by brief dusk lasts but a mere second in November. The world is cloaked in miserable grey nothingness day after day, only to be broken up by endles…
Local time-traveler worried he’s becoming his father
MONTREAL, 1973 – Local scientist Carey Holton says as he grows older and travels more and more through time, he’s concerned that he’s becoming the one thing he said he never would: his fath…
Local man tired of warnings from time-travelling future selves
KENORA, ON – Reckless adventure-lover Devon Howard has grown tired of the ominous warnings personally delivered to him by various time-travelling versions of his future self. The visits fir…