OTTAWA – A time traveller from the 25th century has reported that your grandfather packed some serious equipment and knew just how to use it. “I’m sure you only thought of your grandpa as a dodde…
Tag: time-travel
Sleep scientists announce they don’t know what the fuck to do with their arms when lying down either
MONTREAL – The nation’s top sleep researchers made a joint statement earlier today announcing that they too have no goddamn idea what to do with their arms when trying to sleep. Dr. Fran Mc…
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
MONTREAL – Time and space as we know it was thrown into temporal flux today as protestors pulled down a statue of Sir John A. MacDonal, causing Canada’s first prime minister to be suddenly …
Scientist invents time travel to mock people in 2016 who thought things were bad then
WATERLOO, ON – Quantum physicist Agnes Chevrier announced in a press conference today that not only has she invented time travel, but she had already achieved her purpose in inventing it, w…
QUIZ: Did you time travel or just nap until it got dark out?
The passing of early dawn to high noon followed by brief dusk lasts but a mere second in November. The world is cloaked in miserable grey nothingness day after day, only to be broken up by endles…
Local time-traveler worried he’s becoming his father
MONTREAL, 1973 – Local scientist Carey Holton says as he grows older and travels more and more through time, he’s concerned that he’s becoming the one thing he said he never would: his fath…
Local man tired of warnings from time-travelling future selves
KENORA, ON – Reckless adventure-lover Devon Howard has grown tired of the ominous warnings personally delivered to him by various time-travelling versions of his future self. The visits fir…
