TORONTO – CTV and their owner Bell Media have expressed their deepest regrets over their recent decision to unceremoniously fire CTV National News anchor Lisa Laflamme, when clearly she sho…
Tag: The National
Local woman’s Spotify Year in Review very sad, very horny
EDMONTON – Yesterday, Spotify released their annual ‘Wrapped’ feature, which reveals users’ most played music from the past year. However not all were impressed, including Jillian Langdon, …
Study finds Boomers’ sex lives still haven’t recovered from Mansbridge leaving the National
TORONTO – A new study from a media research group has revealed that Peter Mansbridge’s retirement last year has caused a steep and, to date, permanent drop in the amount of sex being …
Canadian media promise to start covering NDP leadership as soon as Kellie Leitch runs for NDP leader
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts…
CBC announces all 36 million Canadians are the hosts of The National
TORONTO – Striking a delicate balance of ensuring no person feels left out, Canada’s public broadcaster has announced that the entire population of the country will now host the flagship ne…
CBC splits single white man’s salary between two women, two minorities
TORONTO – Following the departure of longtime anchor Peter Mansbridge, CBC executives have decided to hire a diverse collection of hosts, each of whom will receive an equal share of Mansbri…
Peter Mansbridge lands lead anchor on Naked News
TORONTO – After retiring from the CBC’s flagship broadcast news program, The National, journalist and Canadian icon Peter Mansbridge has taken a new job as lead nude anchor on the Toronto-b…
Peter Mansbridge retiring in order to spend more time lobbing softball questions at his family
Eminent journalist Peter Mansbridge, host of CBC’s The National and revered across the country for his ability to sit down with world leaders and ask them what their ideal Sunday mor…
Unpaid intern to replace Peter Mansbridge as host of The National
TORONTO – Following Peter Mansbridge’s announcement that he will be retiring as host of The National in 2017, CBC has announced that they will be filling the role with an unpaid internship.…
Mansbridge retirement leaves nation’s mothers with precious few remaining sexual fantasies
TORONTO – Peter Mansbridge’s announcement that he will be retiring in July 2017 have left the middle-aged mothers of Canada with even fewer celebrities about which to sexually fantasize. “H…