TORONTO – Former University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson has agreed to take social media training in order to keep his license to practice psychology from the College of Psychologis…
Tag: Social Media
Man excited to watch TikTok highlight reel of YouTuber reading Wikipedia summary of novel’s Netflix adaptation
CALGARY – After seeing all the hype surrounding the award-winning novel The Hornet’s Lament, 34-year-old Reagan Turner is excited to borrow the book from the library, read a few pages, then give …
Monkey social media platform allows monkey users to throw faeces at other monkeys users anywhere in the world
PALO ALTO, CA — GoBananaz, the world’s premier simian social media site has debuted a long awaited feature allowing users to heave faeces at each other. “This is a game-changer,” said Tiny, a Ma…
EDITORIAL: Why I’m not letting my kids use social media except the YouTube channel they star in that pays our mortgage
By Ashley Drin Today’s children are under more scrutiny than ever, thanks to the toxic forces of social media. The endless, crushing pressure to expose their most vulnerable moments, private thou…
Neat! Phone turned “am I going bald?” pics into a TikTok
CALGARY — Local man Archie Nordheim is pleased to have discovered that his smartphone automatically turned a bunch of photos he took of his balding head into a TikTok. “I love the way my phone us…
Elon Musk suspended from Twitter for impersonating competent businessman
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk’s Twitter account was briefly suspended for violating the site’s new parody guidelines after he was discovered tweeting in the guise of a “successful entrepreneur.” The …
Village Idiot buys Town Square
YE OLDE PAOLO ALTO – Surprising both maidens and lads, village idiot Elon Musk has purchased the town square and shall now rule it as he sees fit. “I decree that all may now enter the…
“Did a thing!” posts white woman who has either cut her hair or invaded the nation of Kosovo
WINNIPEG – Friends and family of Jennifer Higgens reacted with trepidation after the 32-year-old tweeted that she “did a thing” this past Saturday afternoon, unsure if their loved one had e…
How being better than me is bullying
By: Bryler Chadwick I used to have to leave my house to feel bad about myself. But now that all you bullies can attack me with posts of your promotions, life events, and sun-drenched getaways wit…
Partner demanding you put away phone during movie overestimates how much attention Enola Holmes requires
TORONTO – After a pausing the movie they began watching for the twelfth time, couple Samira Haggarty and Calvin Delaney broke out into an explosive fight over whether or not Haggarty could …