WINNIPEG – This week, local bargain-hunter Darryl Smith failed to come up with a convincing excuse to buy several volumes of erotic literature at a garage sale. Expecting to find an old cop…
Tag: Porn
Man watching porn on incognito mode pretty sure he has everyone fooled
Timmins, ON – Troy Lambert, a cunning rapscallion, believes he has gotten one over on the universe by watching pornography using google chrome’s incognito mode. “Now no one will know that I…
Pornhub leak reveals most of their actors are not actually step-siblings
MONTREAL – Porn enthusiasts are reeling after an information leak at Pornhub has revealed that most of the actors on the site who claim to be step-siblings are not related at all. “I just f…
Tyler announces campaign to watch porn at this slumber party
PRINCE ALBERT, SK — In a story developing out of Dylan McDonald’s 10th Birthday party, fifth grader and charismatic leader Tyler Perkins has launched a campaign to watch porn at this slumbe…
Study: women’s most popular pornography selection of 2018, men sincerely apologizing
CALGARY, AB — A recent study has concluded that the number one choice of pornographic material for straight-identifying women is watching men sincerely apologize for the crap they have done…
Son finds dad’s stash of old hardcore police chase videos
VANCOUVER – Yesterday evening, twelve year old Dylan Kitchener got more than he bargained for while rummaging through his parent’s closet. The impressionable youth stumbled upon a car…
Pornhub front page taken over by clips of Virtue and Moir’s gold medal routine
MONTREAL – After their technically perfect and perfectly erotic short and long dance programs led them to another ice dance gold medal, Canada’s Virtue and Moir are currently dominating the…
Sending of thoughts and prayers delayed by porn
DEER LAKE, AB – Coming to light several weeks after the incident, local man Jared Nelson, admits that his sending of thoughts and prayers over social media, to express heartfelt regret ov…
FCC releases plan to dismantle Net NeutraliFOR MORE INFO PLEASE UPGRADE TO PLATINUM TIER BROADBAND
WASHINGTON D.C. — Federal regulators have released a plan to scrap Obama-era rules requiring internet service providerYOU HAVE REACHED YOUR MONTHLY 50mb LIMIT OF FREE-SURFING DATA — P…
Netflix announces retro TV series consisting entirely of scrambled porn
LOS ANGELES – With nostalgic hits such as Stranger Things, Gilmore Girls, and Fuller House, the streaming giant Netflix has greenlit another 80’s and 90’s inspired series made of nothing but scra…