By: Doug Ford Look, there is no one more surprised than me that Ontario has apparently liked what I’ve done over the last 4 years. I never thought I was going to win in the first place. One…
Tag: politics
“I don’t know anything about the other candidates” is both worst and best reason to vote for Ford
Halton Hills, ON ― Political analysts have determined that your grandfather’s rationale for voting Conservative in June of “I haven’t heard anything about this Del Duca guy” is complete bullshit,…
Steven Del Duca takes 10 awkward seconds to recall name of current Ontario Liberal Leader
Chatham,ONT – At a campaign rally today, Steven Del Duca paused during his stump speech and appeared to take 10-12 seconds to remember the name of the current Ontario Liberal Party leader. …
With midterms approaching, many fear democrats are running out of time to completely alienate the left
Washington – With only six months until the 2022 midterm election, many within the Democratic National Committee are worried that the young, energetic, left wing voter base behind candidate…
School Board mandates bullies begin performing “Lunch Money Acknowledgements”
WINNIPEG – A Manitoba school board has adopted a policy requiring bullies to acknowledge the previous “stewards and caretakers” of the lunch money they steal from peers before spending it. …
Marc Dalton & Scott Aitchison latest conservative leadership candidates we can’t tell apart
OTTAWA – Doppelgangers Marc Dalton and Scott Aitchison recently entered the already crowded Conservative party leadership race, prompting frantic Canadian reporters to wonder how they would…
Vanilla yogurt holds slight lead in Conservative leadership opinion polls
OTTAWA – A rather bland Conservative leadership candidate has gained a slight lead in opinion polls, according to the latest survey data. Leger polling suggests a tub of vanilla yogurt is enjoyin…
Conservatives say Trudeau will be defeated like all other dictators: in an election
OTTAWA – Having repeatedly called PM Justin Trudeau a dictator comparable to Vladimir Putin, the Conservative Party is vowing to stop him the same way freedom loving people have stopped all…
With Jackson hearings underway, Republicans regret squandering their supply of evil
LOCATION REDACTED ― The secret meeting of national Republican politicians was interrupted this week by the undisputed mastermind of American villainy, who was reportedly furious at his underlings…
Backed into a corner, Liberals make deal to follow through on some of their election promises
OTTAWA – The federal Liberal and NDP parties have come to an agreement, where in exchange for passing confidence motions and budget bills, the Liberals will acquiesce and follow through on …