HALIFAX – Cat mom Jenny Harding recently faced a harsh reality of her own making when she realized her cat Fluffy was in the throes of a full-on identity crisis due to having too many nickn…
Tag: Pets
Local man’s dog has better jacket than him
TORONTO – This week dog owner Ben Mazer shocked Bickford dog park by showing up with a dog with a significantly better jacket. Clad in a simple coat from an army surplus outlet, Mazer seemed unfa…
Breaking: Cat unimpressed
KAMLOOPS, BC – After several alarming reports, we can now confirm that the Jacobs family house cat, Jojo, is not having any of it. “He won’t eat, he won’t respond to his name. He’s just kind of s…
Report: Facebook pretty much just pet obituaries now
TORONTO – A new report released by the University of Toronto suggests that 90% of recent Facebook posts are messages of love for recently deceased domestic animals. The social media site, once va…
Sweater mostly cat hair at this point
MONTAGUE, PEI – Sporting her favourite sweater for a weekend gathering, friends of local woman Theresa McCallum, 34, revealed today that the black turtleneck she was wearing was undeniably …
Canada Council for the Arts slashes live theatre budget to fund ‘pets in hats’ Instagram accounts
OTTAWA – The Canada Council for the Arts announced a controversial new grant in hopes of branching out into new media while leaving the future of Canadian theatre uncertain. The funding pre…
Friendly neighbourhood cat just looking for good place to shit
KAMLOOPS, BC – Local domestic cat Mittens, known to many in his neighbourhood for spending his days prowling through backyards in apparent curiosity, is in fact curious only about which per…
3 Adorable Dogs You Can Adopt Today Because They Irresponsibly Trapped Their Owners in a Hot Car
We all love dogs! But sometimes they will make the woeful mistake of locking the human beings that care for them inside of cars on hot, sunny days. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, …
Troubled state executed several small animals before moving on to people
ARKANSAS – Consultation of public records has revealed that several executed animals were found in areas near where the state of Arkansas would later go on to kill human beings. “Violence t…
Exclamation! Numeral adjective pet verb!
Hey, Beaverton readers! We’re excited to announce we’re now posting cute pet listicles! Enjoy! 1) Hey! This adjective pet [dog/cat/other?] is verb my body part associated with emotion [brain/hear…