KITCHENER, ON – Local lesbian couple Maggie Chaney and Marianne Mathams recently created a sociopolitical stir in a No Frills by engaging in the bold act of being homosexuals out in the wor…
Tag: Ontario
Doug Ford’s niece announces theme of her Sweet 16 will be Urban Development Opportunities
TORONTO – Marcella Ford, niece of Ontario Premier Doug Ford, has announced that her upcoming Sweet 16 Birthday Party will have the theme of Urban Development Opportunities. “A lot of …
Emergencies Act report finds that assholes were indeed assholes
OTTAWA – The highly-anticipated Emergencies Act Inquiry report by Commissioner Paul Rouleau finds that the Trudeau Government’s invocation of the act did indeed meet the legislation&#…
Doug Ford announces 50% of all Ontario surgeries will now be done by his buddy Steve
TORONTO – In an effort to reduce wait times for surgeries in the province of Ontario, Premier Doug Ford has announced that as many as half of all surgeries will now be handled by his good b…
Middle Finger named “Official Bird” of Ontario highways
BARRIE – In the wake of a population boom, the Province of Ontario is proud to announce that the middle finger has been tapped as the “Official Bird” of their roadways. “For years, you cou…
Marit Stiles named Ontario NDP Leader after everyone else yells “Not it!”
TORONTO – Davenport MPP Marit Stiles has been named leader of the Ontario NDP after literally every other member of the party jumped backward, touched their noses, and yelled “Not it!” at t…
Ontario’s Minister Of Colluding With Real Estate Developers denies claims that government colluded with real estate developers
TORONTO – The Ontario Minister responsible for providing secret information to Real Estate Developers about the government’s plans to allow development on the Greenbelt denied allegat…
Doug Ford extends Black Friday Sale on greenbelt land
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Doug Ford announced he is extending his government’s Black Friday Greenbelt Land Sale, allowing real estate moguls and elite donors to purchase only-recently developa…
‘See No Covid, Hear No Covid’ strategy working about as well as expected
OTTAWA – As cases skyrocket around the country and hospitals are overwhelmed, the federal and provincial health approach of ‘see no covid, hear no covid’ has been called into qu…
Which of these boiled hams will the Ontario Liberals choose for their next leader?
TORONTO – After a disastrous showing in the last provincial election, political analysts are eager to see which out of a growing shortlist of boiled hams the Ontario Liberal Party will choo…
