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Progressive Pope gives up celibacy for Lent

HOLY SEE – Continuing the trend of his liberal reign as Catholicism’s spiritual leader, Pope Francis I has announced that he will be giving up celibacy for Lent this year. As modern traditi…

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Even Satan impressed by Salvation Army theft

HELL – The news of David Rennie’s involvement in the scandalous theft of $2 million worth of toys from the Salvation Army, a charitable organization for which he served as president, has im…

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Pope no longer returning God’s calls

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome and Servant of the Servants of God, has not been returning God’s phone calls, according to Pontifical Household sources. “It’s really …

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God can’t find publisher for latest book

HEAVEN – Over 3,000 years since the release of His worldwide bestseller The Bible, God, almighty creator of the universe, is finding it difficult to get His latest book published. “I’ve bee…

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