CALGARY – According to sources in the Ross household, a plastic bag from this morning’s outing to the grocery store has been stuffed into a larger plastic bag full of plastic bags. “I should real…
Tag: garbage
Grocery bag really excited to become garbage bag
OTTAWA – A report coming from the nation’s bathrooms and under the kitchen sinks have found that your plastic grocery bag is really excited to be used as a garbage bag. “Mih Yinkd hah…
Scientists confused, concerned after local man finishes spring mix salad pack before it gets gross
Thunder Bay, ON – Researchers at Lakehead University are baffled and more than a little distressed after discovering that local man Hunter Braddock finished an entire Spring Mix Salad packa…
Scientists confirm your printer works fine, it’s just flirting with you
WINDSOR, ON – Scientists at the University of Windsor recently announced that after a year-long study, they have discovered that your printer actually functions perfectly well, and only pretends …
Neighbour somehow always throwing out sofa
TIMMINS, ON – Local residents are at a loss for how to deal with their neighbours at 618 Brookridge Ave., whose front yard is somehow constantly occupied by a sofa they are throwing away. M…
REPORT: Roommate actually does have job
TORONTO, ON- A new study finds that your roommate Tad actually does leave the house sometimes, and that he does, in fact, sometimes leave the house to go to work. “Not that it’s any business of y…
Local man excited to eventually throw out all these vegetables he just bought
LISTOWEL, ON – Following his weekly routine, a local man has purchased several grocery bags full of expensive, fresh, and healthy vegetables today, so that he may spend the rest of the week…
Amazing! Meet the vigilante garbage man who goes after the trash the city won’t touch!
In the city of Toronto, it’s estimated that only about 50% of waste is disposed of properly. It is believed this is mainly due to some of it being too hard to reach or too high profile to take ou…
Study: Balding men sexy, balding women need to go back to the garbage cave where they belong
SASKATOON, SK. – A recent study shed light on the sexual desirability of balding men, while simultaneously concluding that balding women just need to go back to the garbage cave where they …