TORONTO – After weeks of clearing unhoused individuals from Toronto parks in the middle of a Pandemic, Toronto Police finally left the residents outside Lamport Stadium alone after they sai…
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Super flower blood moon trying way too hard to be interesting
News in Photos…
Calgary fans celebrate highlight of Flames’ season
CALGARY – After a long, gruelling season, Flames fans were finally able to celebrate a true victory when the Edmonton Oilers were shockingly swept out of the Playoffs. “You know, it&#…
UN names “Star Trek: TNG episode where Dr. Crusher bones the ghost that boned her grandma” humanity’s greatest cultural achievement
NEW YORK CITY, NY – The General Assembly of the United Nations has passed a resolution acknowledging the 1994 Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Sub Rosa” as the most important cultural achi…
Sick fuck stores milk carton on its side
Markham, ON – Local man, Mark Hamilton, stores his milk carton on it’s side like a goddamn fucking animal. “It’s just more ergonomic this way,” stated a deranged Hamilton, who wedged the af…
Woman who paid taxes for first time now starting every sentence with “as a taxpayer”
VANCOUVER – Lillian Osterhouse is pleased to finally have made enough money this year to pay taxes and has some very strong opinions about how that money should be spent. “As a taxpayer, I …
Saskatchewan man listing Provinces always forgets to include Saskatchewan
REGINA – Tim Hardstark, a life-long resident of the Province of Saskatchewan, always forgets to include Saskatchewan when attempting to list all 10 provinces and 3 territories. “Let&#…
New law makes it legal to key anti-lockdown protestors’ cars
OTTAWA – The federal government passed a new law this morning making it legal for any Canadian, of any age, to key anti-lockdown protestors’ cars. “Obviously vigilante justice a…
4 COVID-Safe activities to do this summer if Doug Ford’s buddies say it’s OK
After 14 months of COVID we’re all anxious to get back to fun summer activities. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like we’ll be fully vaccinated until September/October, but there …
Quëbéc’s nêw Bill 96 will introducé swêèping changês to èxisting Ënglish languagê laws
Montrëal — Thë massivê Frënch-languagë réform bill, Bill 96, would ênablé thè Québécois govèrnmènt to ènact swéêping mêasurès for thé purposé of protëcting thè Frénch languagê. Thé Bill contains …
