VANCOUVER – A local couple are having a hard time finding the right amount of life insurance coverage that would protect their future but not inspire them to murder one another. Michael and…
Tag: Featured Post
Restaurant’s wacky theme menu runs out of steam halfway through
EDMONTON – According to local sources, the diners at Pirate Pete’s Pasta Paradise are noticing that the restaurant’s elaborate theme menu burns through all its good ideas in its first half. “The…
Canadians to hold off celebrating 2022 World Junior gold for a few years just in case
EDMONTON – The Canadian national junior team has won gold at the 2022 World Juniors, prompting countless hockey fans across the country to not celebrate until they’re sure it’s appropriate. After…
Investigation of Catholic Church by Catholic Church finds no wrongdoing by Catholic Church
VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis issued a statement Thursday deeming the sexual assault allegations against Quebec Cardinal Marc Ouellet as ‘insufficient grounds’ to launch a formal investigation. The…
Dog tied up outside of store for three minutes sets new world record for sadness
VANCOUVER — The look on the face of Tony, a young bulldog tied to a parking meter outside Denman Liquor, has set the Guinness World Record for sheer, profound, heart-wrenching sadness. “I don’t u…
Canada’s Aunties all pause mid-sentence, sniff the air, whisper “it’s happening”
TORONTO – Canadians from all walks of life reported strange events with older relatives yesterday, as the retail giant Hudson’s Bay announced its plans to relaunch the beloved department store br…
CTV apologizes for firing 58-year-old Lisa LaFlamme: “She should’ve been fired when she turned 50”
TORONTO – CTV and their owner Bell Media have expressed their deepest regrets over their recent decision to unceremoniously fire CTV National News anchor Lisa Laflamme, when clearly she sho…
Man who can’t afford to travel enters minute 25 of listening to friend’s airport horror story
TORONTO – Local man Eric Braiser is currently approaching the half-hour mark of politely listening to his friend Sarah talk about what a nightmare her recent flight out of Pearson was. R…
REPORT: Loneliness epidemic singled out, ostracized by other epidemics
RICHMOND, BC – As persistent loneliness continues to affect the health of billions, it remains unable to gain acceptance and inclusion from its epidemic peers. “I’ve been harming people’s well-be…
Hockey Canada buries Lucky Sexual Assault Settlement under centre ice before start of World Juniors
EDMONTON – In an effort to bring a little luck to our boys, Hockey Canada has revealed they had the ice maintenance crew at Rogers Place bury a lucky confidential sexual assault settlement …
