SCARBOROUGH — After decades of the question being asked by frustrated bar patrons, the identity of the man whose dick you have to suck to get a drink around here has been definitively identified …
Tag: Featured Post
Rogers Centre renovations include private nook where fans can tell Blue Jays mascot everything they can’t say to their dad
TORONTO – As the Toronto Blue Jays play the 2023 season’s first home games, fans are enjoying several offseason additions to the Rogers Centre, including a new bullpen bar, a large family play ar…
Québec reluctantly turns power back on for immigrants and Anglos
MONTREAL – After a million households lost electricity last week due the second once-in-a-lifetime ice storm most Quebeckers have faced in their lifetimes, Hydro Québec is reluctantly turni…
Pope decrees that every Friday is a Good Friday when you’re hanging with your buds
VATICAN CITY – Supreme Pontiff Pope Francis has marked the holiest week on the Christian calendar by reminding Catholics worldwide that it’s important to kick it with your pals. “On Good Friday, …
Galen Weston defends $3 million raise by asking “Have you seen how expensive stuff is getting lately?”
Caledon, Ontario –Loblaws CEO Galen Weston defended his $3 million raise this week by noting that it’s really not that much when you think of how expensive things are nowadays. “Have …
Last of Us moves filming to Vancouver; Albertans pretend they never liked it
CALGARY– In a well-known trope for residents of Canada’s most put-upon province, Albertans reacted to this week’s news that HBO’s The Last of Us is moving production to Vancouve…
Ticketmaster to levy service charge for concerts you don’t attend
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Ticketmaster, a division of Live Nation Entertainment, has announced a new service charge for concerts their users don’t attend or even know about. “We’ve been adding more and…
First Canadian to orbit moon in attempt to find affordable housing
CAPE CANAVERAL – Astronaut Jeremy Hansen, a colonel in the RCAF, will become the first Canadian to orbit the moon in an effort to find affordable housing. “Catherine and I have three kids, …
Yellowjackets tells harrowing tale of Americans trying to cope with Canadian winter
VANCOUVER – The Vancouver-shot television show Yellowjackets has returned for another highly anticipated season and audiences are clambering to watch the horror that will unfold as a group …
Paleontologists theorize the T-Rex had kissable lips and an ass that won’t quit
VANCOUVER – The paleontology world is abuzz this week following the release of a new study which concludes that the tyrannosaurus rex, a massive bipedal carnivore that went extinct 66 milli…
