TORONTO — Sam Baquiran, cashier at a Shoppers Drug Mart on Pape and Danforth, recently had a customer ask how she was doing. “Can’t complain,” she responded, given that she’ll lose her job if she…
Tag: Featured Post
Nestle Canada to “wind down” frozen food sales, focus on Evil
TORONTO — Nestlé Canada has announced it will be ending sales of its Delissio, Stouffer’s, and Lean Cuisine brands as the corporate entity shifts toward investing more in committing blatant acts …
Quebec outraged that anti-Islamophobia representative is able to identify Islamophobic law
QUEBEC – The Quebec government demanded that the federal government withdraw its support of Amira Elghawaby, the new representative to combat Islamophobia, because of her willingness to ide…
Sex playlist a little heavy on the banjo
REGINA – According to sexually frustrated sources, Charlie Walker is facing criticism for trying to set a romantic mood with an excess of banjo music. “Look, I get it, the right twanging chord ca…
Canucks aim to improve their reputation by hiring former player Todd Bertuzzi as Health and Fitness Coach
VANCOUVER – Faced with an onslaught of negative publicity for the way they handled the firing of Bruce Boudreau, the Vancouver Canucks are looking to gain back some popular support by hirin…
Groundbreaking animal mind-reading study reveals ‘nothing interesting’
VANCOUVER – An international team of scientists has concluded a revolutionary study investigating the inner workings of the animal mind and the results are: nothing interesting. The study i…
Doug Ford moves to protect 1.8 million acres of urban sprawl from encroachment of Greenbelt
PICKERING, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has passed legislation that will help protect precious low-density housing, winding streets, and majestic parking lots from the encroachment of the…
Danielle Smith warns that Justin Trudeau’s reckless politics will get 400 million Albertans fired
EDMONTON – Premier Danielle Smith has warned that Ottawa’s upcoming Just Transition bill will cost hundreds of millions of Albertans their jobs in the oil and gas industry. “After a federal memo …
Gift certificate squandered
CALGARY – Frank Benton has wasted the $150 Best Buy gift card his parents gave him for Christmas, despite spending weeks carefully thinking about how to use it. Local sources report that Benton h…
Study: Best way to get rid of a body is to check it as luggage with Air Canada
TORONTO – A new study has revealed that the best way to get rid of an unwanted cadaver is to carefully pack it into a suitcase and check it as luggage with Air Canada at a local airport. &#…
