CALGARY – Local sources state that Martin Walsh is hoping to add some excitement to his relationship by convincing his girlfriend to do it platypus style. “We’ve been in a bit of a rut lately,” W…
Tag: Featured Post
Quiz: Who should you vote for in Toronto’s Mayoral Race
It’s sex scandal caused election day in Toronto! The city is ready to move on from legendary horn dog John Tory and install a new Strong Mayor. But which of the 500 candidates deserves your…
RCMP: Anti-trans protesters aren’t being removed from highway overpass because laws only apply to people we don’t like
NORTH VANCOUVER – Six weeks after the Supreme Court of British Columbia banned a group of anti-trans and anti-vaccine protesters from holding a dangerous, months-long demonstration on a hig…
Pierre Poilievre vows to hold Trudeau accountable for Taylor Swift leaving Canada out of tour dates
OTTAWA – After Canadians were left devastated yesterday to learn that Taylor Swift’s massively anticipated Eras international tour wouldn’t be making any stops in Canada, Conservative leade…
Every Gord Ranked
We got bored and ranked the Gords. A few rules before we dive in. 1. Only Canadians allowed. Sorry Gordon Ramsay 2. We are only considering famous and/or notable Gords. So you won’t find yo…
Canada hits 40 million people, 40 available houses
OTTAWA – The federal government has announced that Canada has hit a major landmark, as a 40th house came onto the market just as the national population reached 40 million. “When Canada was found…
Lonely man goes out looking like shit to ensure he runs into at least 3 people he knows
TORONTO – Feeling a bit lonely and without community local man Marcus Bailey has decided to go for a walk while looking absolutely terrible to guarantee he runs into several friends and acq…
Danielle Smith decries Big Tech censorship after she forgets password for Swiss Chalet website
CALGARY – After claiming that Big Tech censored her facebook account with little evidence Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is now claiming that they have gone a step further and cut off her a…
[Team] wins Stanley Cup
NORTH AMERICAN CITY – After a hard-fought series that went [number] games, the Stanley Cup has been awarded to [team], a victory by the [favourites/underdogs] that many analysts [predicted/failed…
