10 ways Conservatives are trying to "soften Poilievre's sharp edges" - The Beaverton

10 ways Conservatives are trying to “soften Poilievre’s sharp edges”

Despite riding high in the polls are worried that Canadians haven’t exactly warmed up to just yet. So they’re spending a ton of time and to try to soften his sharp edges. Here’s how.

10 Working with a plastic surgeon so his face doesn’t do that thing anymore. You know that thing his face does? Hopefully it won’t do that anymore

9. Taught him it’s “shaking hands and kissing babies” not “pushing people and lecturing babies on noise pollution”

8. No more cat strangling theme parties

7. Started a PR campaign to convince Canadians it’s normal to have a favourite serial killer

6. Convinced him not to post his “epic take down video” of the 16 year old Tim Hortons employee who gave him a chocolate glazed when he ordered chocolate dip

5. Stopped him from sharing his poetry tribute to the Ottawa

4. Got him to say his favourite show is Kim’s Convenience instead of 5 year old clips of himself in Question Period

3. No animal strangling theme parties of any kind

2. installed a pad on his leg that will give him a small shock everytime he says “to play devil’s advocate” or “What I think you’re trying to say”

1. No longer referring to his as ‘the girl one’ and ‘the other one.’