Can the Conservatives pull off a fourth mandate? Here’s how they intend on doing it: Key Beliefs: Nobody’s business, that’s what Policy Priorities: Delivering a budget that is balanced in e…
Tag: Elections Canada
New polls definitively show NDP will win or lose
CANADA – Newly released polls are showing that the NDP have a very strong chance of winning the upcoming federal election, and simultaneously no chance at all. “The NDP have been poll…
Harper polling well in sought-after ‘corrupt’ demographic
OTTAWA – As the senate expense trial continues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has seen his support drop in most demographics, but he has also seen a steep rise among Canada’s corrupt. “Some…
Scouts cautioned not to feed wild animals hungry for votes
COMOX, BC — Scouts Canada have reminded all members that they should never approach or feed wild politicians. The announcement comes after a close call for three scouts who came very near t…
Eighteen-year-old finally mature enough to vote against self-interest
KINGSTON — Having reached the age of eighteen, local man Blake Thompson is reportedly thrilled to at last be old enough to vote in a way that will decrease opportunities and benefits for him now …
Canadian ex-pats lose right to forget to vote from abroad
OTTAWA – A recent Court of Appeal ruling states that expatriate Canadians will no longer be eligible to intend to vote, then fail to “mail the thing in”, before forgetting about…
Canadian man buying groceries across the border loses right to vote
NIAGARA FALLS – After a brief shopping excursion into Buffalo, NY, a Canadian man has lost his right to vote in the next federal elections as a result of Canada’s new ex-pat voting la…
Staunch New Democrat to vote Liberal again
TORONTO – Despite considering himself a strong supporter of the New Democratic Party, local voter Jason Poulos plans to cast his ballot for the Liberals in the upcoming election, as he has …
Tories introduce ‘Three Riddles’ voting system
The Harper government has passed its controversial Noble Voters Act, which will require all potential voters to answer three riddles and “establish their virtue true” before casting a ballot. “Th…