FREDERICTON, NB – Local barista Maya Reilly snuffed out the Christmas spirit last Saturday when she mistook her friend’s sweater as being part of the annual Ugly Sweater competition at thei…
Tag: Christmas
Witch? This woman built a gingerbread house
RED DEER, AB – Daniella Keller, a 29 year-old librarian, built a gingerbread house over the weekend, prompting many to ask the question: is this woman a witch? “She seemed so normal, why wo…
Donder and Blitzen to put career on hold for mandatory military service
NORTH POLE – Following weeks of speculation, two members of Santa’s prestigious team of reindeer have announced they are planning temporary resignation in order to undertake military …
Woman banishes malfunctioning vibrator to Island of Misfit Sex Toys
EDMONTON — Melissa Soares, frustrated with the sub-optimal aspects of her rabbit vibrator, has evicted it from her night-stand, exiling it to the Island of Misfit Sex Toys. “The gals on Sex and …
Study: Seasonal depression cured by wrapping paper scissor glides
St. Catharines, ON – In a groundbreaking study by Brock University, researchers have identified the long-awaited cure for seasonal depression: the sweet, sweet satisfaction of gliding a sha…
After success of 10 days of Mourning, BBC announces plans for “Dead Queen” Christmas Special
LONDON – Following the success of the national period of mourning for the late Queen Elizabeth II, the BBC has announced plans for a 24-hour “Dead Queen” Christmas Day special. In hopes of …
Divorced Dad advent calendar promises big chocolate every other weekend
VANCOUVER — A new brand of advent calendar made for divorced dads by Divorced Dads features one very large chocolate every other weekend to show your child that you care just as much if not more …
Freak! This guy actually enjoys fruitcakes
EDMONTON, AB – Local weirdo, Felix Bonner, 36, recently told his co-workers that despite its horrible vomit-like taste, he actually enjoys fruitcakes. “It’s just a nice blend of sweetness a…
Halifax Oyster Fest mascot and Woody the Christmas Tree battle for control of harbour
HALIFAX – Scores of Haligonians were forced to evacuate their homes and business this morning as Pearl, the grotesque Oyster Fest mascot, and Woody, the horrifying talking Christmas tree, e…