OAKVILLE, ON – Heralding its new offerings as the culmination of nine years of intense laboratory research, Tim Hortons president Axel Schwan proudly announced that the franchise’s new line…
Tag: Canada
Canada suffering productivity crisis, says government that does nothing
OTTAWA – Canada is in the midst of a severe productivity crisis, warns a report from Canada’s federal government, who also does jack shit. “This is an issue that cannot be ignored,” said a …
Trudeau wondering if he should try being PM of a different country, now that he’s got the hang of it
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reports that he is considering running for leadership of a different country, following 9 years of “getting his feet wet” in Canada. ̶…
Canada to honour Brian Mulroney with week of raised GST rate
OTTAWA – In response to the death of Brian Mulroney, Canada’s 18th Prime Minister, the government has announced the nation’s GST will be doubled for one week. “The flags will go down, and the ta…
Seven Iconic Canadian Songs we may have just made up now that we think about it
We Canadians pride ourselves on the contributions our country has made to popular music in North America and across the world. Songs by some of our most famous musicians are counted among the big…
Singh not looking forward to voting for same old two parties in next election
OTTAWA – With partisan rhetoric between Trudeau’s Liberals and Poilievre’s Conservatives heating up in anticipation of a possible Federal election, many report feeling dismayed …
Canadian Politicians New Year’s Resolutions
We asked the biggest names in Canadian politics what they hope to accomplish in the new year. Here is what they had to say:…
Most popular Christmas special in each province
There’s nothing more Canadian than avoiding the increasingly wet winter weather by hiding inside and watching your favourite Christmas special. Check out this list of the most popula…
Local intellectual pumped to spend two weeks saying, “Um, I think you mean American Thanksgiving”
VANCOUVER – Local genius and free thinker Andy Hammond is amped to spend the next several weeks reminding his American friends and relatives that the holiday they are about to celebrate in …
Right-wing, authoritarian broadcaster known for polarizing comments to meet with Tucker Carlson
CALGARY – Criticism is brewing over the baffling choice to invite a right-wing demagogue and prominent anti-vaxxer to meet with Tucker Carlson. “I’m all for free speech,” said Alberta nativ…