Ikea Monkey admits that he is not a real news story
TORONTO – Darwin, the seven-month old Rhesus monkey apprehended at the North York Ikea yesterday evening has come forward to say that he regrets causing a “literal media circus.” Darwin was…
BREAKING: Sidney Crosby out for remainder of CBA negotiations with concussion-like symptoms
NEW YORK – The NHLPA suffered a serious blow today as Pittsburgh Penguins’ forward Sidney Crosby told reporters he will be out indefinitely after experiencing concussion-like symptoms. The …
As winter recess approaches, supreme court judges prepare to hibernate
OTTAWA – Having written their last judgement and heard their final appeal for the year, the nine honourable members of Canada’s highest court spent last week preparing to enter their …
That’s just great! Red pants are finally in fashion the same year I get my darn legs severed in a motorcycle accident
By Amada Sweeps When it comes to fashion, I’m always ahead of my time, but honestly, I feel like the Gods, or some higher fashion power is stopping me from taking the credit I deserve. Red pants …
Egyptian president Mohamed Morsi acting like he doesn’t know what’s about to happen to him
EGYPT – With history about to repeat itself a mere two years since Hosni Murabak was ousted from his presidency and sentenced to life imprisonment, current Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi …
Even Satan impressed by Salvation Army theft
HELL – The news of David Rennie’s involvement in the scandalous theft of $2 million worth of toys from the Salvation Army, a charitable organization for which he served as president, has im…
8-year-old doesn’t realize he’s just lived the best day of his life
KINGSTON, ON – Local 8-year-old, Tommy Steiger, went to bed yesterday seemingly unaware he had just experienced the best day of his entire life. “Today was great! We went to the amuse…
