5 solutions to fix housing prices that are never, ever making them less expensive
As the average price of a Canadian house hit $668,754 in July, up by more than 6% in past year, homeowners and renters across the country are feeling the squeeze. Canadians, particularly millenni…
Conservative education ministers tackle urgent problem of children feeling too safe at school
REGINA – Several conservative provincial governments have enacted or are planning to enact policies that require parental consent for children to change their names and pronouns in school a…
Nova Scotians board up windows and gather supplies in preparation for incoming Dalhousie Students
HALIFAX – Following a trying summer of forest fires and floods, Halifax once again scrambles to ready themselves for its next force majeure: the annual deluge of wealthy Ontarians to Dalhou…
University’s 2-Factor authentication stymies hacker trying to do other people’s homework
CALEDON, ON ― A local hacker’s nefarious plot to maliciously log into a first-year student’s account and do their algebra was frustrated this week, thanks to the foresight of administrators who r…
World’s climate scientists recommend having only as many children as you plan to eat
GENEVA — The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change put out a statement today advising potential parents to only create and rear as many children as they believe they’ll feasibly be able to co…
Incoming first year students excited to pretend Carleton University was their first choice
OTTAWA – As graduating high school seniors across the country look forward to starting post-secondary education, students from the Carleton University class of 2027 are excited to begin the…
Frustrated facial recognition program has foot fetish
CUPERTINO, CA – Computer scientists were stunned this week when they discovered that the Apple facial recognition program running on your iPhone lives a life of unrequited desire because it…
Report: There’s no College of Satire Writers, so we’re allowed to call Jordan Peterson a hateful little bitch without consequence
TORONTO – The Ontario Divisional Court has upheld the College of Psychologists’ determination that, due to his hateful tweets and comments, training on social media etiquette will be requir…
Elon Musk patiently waits for Zuckerberg to leave his house so he can knock on door and run
San Francisco, CA – Elon Musk has reportedly been waiting outside Mark Zuckerberg’s San Francisco residence until he leaves his house so he can knock on his door and run. “I’m setting up an…
