Tory refugee Jason Kenney treks thousands of kilometers westward to seek better life
OTTAWA – Former Conservative MP Jason Kenney has made the decision to flee Ottawa and make a perilous 3,500 km journey across dangerous territory to seek a new life in Alberta. After the Li…
Pride Parade joins Justin Trudeau’s walk down street
TORONTO – Prime Minister and National Treasure Justin Trudeau was accompanied by Canada’s largest Pride Parade as he casually strolled down Yonge Street this past Sunday. “OM Fucking G; it’…
Trudeau demands China improve human rights before trading, ‘unless they want to buy some tanks’
VANCOUVER – This week Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said China will need to improve its record on human rights before Canada will sign a Free Trade Agreement with them, before emphasizing t…
Pride parade interrupted by Black Lives Matter halted by Greenpeace cut off by PETA stopped by BDS
TORONTO – Toronto’s annual Pride Parade was interrupted Sunday by a group of activists, themselves interrupted by other protesters who, in turn, were interrupted by other activists. Black L…
Wine-drunk aunt tries to guess whether your handsome friend is Leo or Taurus
Oakville, ON — At last Sunday’s backyard barbecue, family and friends bore witness to Aunt Sheila’s chardonnay-fuelled inquisition into whether your handsome friend Daniel is a Leo or…
Inspirational procrastinator lives every day like it’s his second last
Prince Albert, Sask – Filling his day with useless activities to avoid more important ones, Harold Carmacks has inspired many with his ‘I’ll-do-it-tomorrow’ philosophy. “I’m always preoccup…
Obama, Nieto to increase tariffs by 12% unless Trudeau eats scorpion in tequila bottle
OTTAWA – Reports from the Three Amigos Summit yesterday indicated that the leaders of Mexico and the USA had threatened to increase tariffs 12% unless Prime Minister Trudeau quit being a bi…
Gastown steam clock powered by sighs of disappointed tourists
VANCOUVER – In a candid interview yesterday morning Raymond Saunders, the designer of the Gastown Steam Clock, revealed that the popular Vancouver landmark is, in fact, powered by the sighs of di…
Hundreds of sick kids to be put down after Subban traded to Nashville
MONTREAL — Following the trade of Canadiens all-star defenceman and philanthropist PK Subban, the Montreal Children’s Hospital has announced Wednesday that it would not be able to keep its …
Lost: Last year’s Yukon River Quest team last seen paddling up Congo River
BRAZZAVILLE, CONGO – A Yukon River Quest team that failed to finish the 715 km canoe and kayak race was last spotted deep in the Congo-Chambeshi River system. The dishevelled team of four w…
