The Beaverton

Optimist drowns in glass half-full

VANCOUVER, BC – The body of local man, Eric Heston, known by many as one of the most optimistic people they’ve ever met, was pulled last night from the bottom a glass sources say he would d…

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Man should have worn more gingham to this brunch

TORONTO – Citing the amount of gingham that he is wearing and amount of gingham that those around him are wearing, local man Marc Fresno has determined that he should have worn more gingham…

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