Ontarians forced to hang out with Kathleen Wynne now that she’s their dealer
TORONTO – The entire province of Ontario has resigned itself to hanging out with Kathleen Wynne for the next few years while she deals to them. “God this is always so awkward,” said Sudbury…
VIA Rail retracts ‘why don’t you take the train?’ tagline after passengers find many reasons not to
MONTREAL – Canada’s only passenger rail line has removed its tagline ‘why don’t you take the train’ from the crown corporation’s commercials after thousands of passengers have discovered nu…
Snowflakes rally to preserve Stonewall Jackson’s Civil War participation trophy
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – Snowflakes throughout the American south are once again up in arms, after Charlottesville city council passed a unanimous vote to remove the city’s statue of confederate gen…
Guide To: Edmonton
Thinking of visiting the city in Alberta that doesn’t have the world famous stampede?…
Toronto-York subway line to open day after you graduate from York
TORONTO – The TTC has confirmed that the opening date for the new Toronto York-Spadina Subway Extension (TYSSE) will be the day after you graduate from York University, whenever that may be…
Censorship on campus: no university will pay $5000 to listen to Dave’s opinion
Political correctness has truly gotten out of control- no university campus in the country will allow Dave to come do a highly-paid speaking engagement about his thoughts that he has. “I have opi…
TIFF TIPS: How to finally catch Atom Egoyan and get his treasure
The Toronto International Film Festival has descended on The Six once again, and that can only mean one thing: the trickster Atom Egoyan will once again appear, and taunt media and fans alike wit…
Ben Affleck announces new film about how the CIA rescued gay men from Chechnya
Luke and panelists Jocelyn Geddie, Leonard Chan and Carol Zoccoli discuss how Trudeau finally acted like the progressive icon American media think he is by rescuing gay Chechens (2:00), plot the …
Producers of “It” reboot assure audience it won’t contain book’s infamous scene of children having gluten
LOS ANGELES – It producers want to assure potential moviegoers that the film will not contain the book’s infamous scene of a group of eleven-year-olds having gluten with each other. “As art…
Only comment TA leaves is just ‘the medium is the message’
TORONTO – After getting back her essay in Critical Approaches to Literature, second-year English major Justina Chu noticed that, once again, the only comment her teacher’s assistant made was, …
