Canada’s doctors find a new way to convince people to get vaccinated
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
BREAKING: Man remembers why he went into that room
QUEBEC CITY- After blankly standing around for several moments, late breaking reports indicate that local man John Grigio finally remembers why he went into this room. “He was just standing in fr…
Company unveils new ‘smart condom’ even though the smartest condom will always be abstinence
NOTTINGHAM, UK – A British company has released the first images of their long-awaited “smart condom”, a wearable tech device which promises to be second only to the smartest condom of all: sexua…
Postmedia scales back to single coffee machine in Kitchener
KITCHENER – In the latest in a series of heavy cutbacks, Postmedia Network has announced they will be scaling back the company to a single coffee machine in Kitchener. “We at Postmedia beli…
Online university hosts online homecoming for alumni
THE INTERNET – Reflecting on the fond times they had together on various course modules, the 2007 Management Foundations class from Athabasca University celebrated 10 years since receiving …
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announce their billion dollar stimulus to the UK economy
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Unknown generation sought for questioning after brutal murder of local industry
THE CITY – Following the shocking murder of an aging industry, police are seeking an unknown generation for questioning about the crime. “At this point, the generation we’re looking for not…
In historic apology Trudeau promises LGBTQ soldiers that, from now on, they’ll only be mistreated for being veterans
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Halifax donair prepares to spend winter in man’s colon
HALIFAX – A recently-ordered extra large donair with the works is currently undergoing preparations to spend the winter months lodged in the colon of local call centre employee Justin MacIs…
6-year-old awakens from sugar-crash covered in temporary tattoos
GATINEAU, QC – After slowly coming to from a sugar-crash-induced nap, 6-year-old Phillippe Watkins was surprised to discover his body covered in temporary Cars 3 tattoos that he had no memo…
