“WTF is happening today?” wonder drivers as white stuff falls from sky
WINDSOR, ON – In a baffling series of events, drivers in Southwestern Ontario are wondering “WTF is happening today?” as white stuff falls from the skies. The day started as a typical grey …
Protesters trying to block road frustrated to find every Ottawa road already closed for construction
OTTAWA, ON ― A group of protesters trying to generate enough chaos to gather national publicity was forced to concede defeat today, after their efforts to impede traffic illegally were foiled by …
Doug Ford moves Ontario’s Legislative Assembly to the back of a Costco
TORONTO – Carrying on with his party’s plan to make every government office operate out of an American chain store, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that provincial parliament …
Woman and Dog from “Alberta is Calling” ad airlifted from frozen cliff
WATERTON, AB – Hours after trekking up popular hiking location “Bear’s Hump” to film an advertisement for the “Alberta is Calling” relocation campaign, 28-year-old former Ontario resident Natalie…
Toronto homeowners outraged at $50 property tax increase encouraged to skip avocado toast, make coffee at home
TORONTO – Despite the initial rage thrown towards Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s new property tax hike that will see homeowners pay about an extra $50 per month for every million dollars…
Oh No: Friend from high school debuts 5th straight incorrect Middle East take on Facebook
TORONTO – Cliffdale High ‘09 alum Jim Smith has repeatedly whiffed attempts to write and publish a correct Facebook take about the devastating conflict in the Middle East at least five time…
The 9 people that own all of Toronto’s real estate extremely upset about property tax hike
TORONTO – Reacting to news of Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s plan to hike property taxes by more than 10%, the 9 or so people that collectively own all Toronto real estate expressed outrage, s…
Man with dedicated folder for ‘back of the head’ selfies definitely not balding
KINGSTON, ON – Local man Mitch Thompson insists that his meticulously curated collection of back-of-the-head selfies has, in fact, nothing to do with any alleged thinning around the crown a…
Fake hockey fan able to enjoy his team signing good players without conducting armchair salary cap analysis
TORONTO – After his team signed one of their best players to a long term contract extension, casual fan Matt Christenson celebrated without even performing his own detailed analysis of how …
Five people you hope are not on the Epstein list
NEW YORK CITY – Court documents from Ghislaine Maxwell’s case have been unsealed and reporters are poring through them to see who among the rich and famous will be revealed to have consorte…
