TORONTO – Overcoming seemingly impossible odds after having faced a gruelling heroic journey deep within the bowels of the financial system, the $67.89 you transferred from PayPal to your b…
Tech
BREAKING: Phone dead, laptop dead, iPad dead, in tragic technology massacre
MONCTON, NB — Three Apple products were pronounced dead at the scene this morning in what law enforcements are calling, “A technology triple homicide.” “It is difficult for me to comprehend…
Facebook down: Millions of users took to the streets to yell out their personal data in hopes of being heard by advertisers, spy agencies
MENLO PARK, CA – Millions of loyal Facebook users took to the streets across North America and Europe to yell out their personal data during an outage earlier today. “I live in San Antonio,…
New privacy rules will require companies to store secret data in the deep ocean of a woman’s heart
OTTAWA – New privacy legislation going into effect this week will require companies to take steps to protect user data by storing it in the endless expanse of a woman’s heart. Recent …
Youtube outage forces millions to stay focused, accomplish tasks
SAN BRUNO, CA – Panic spread across the globe as millions of procrastinators discovered that Youtube had suffered an outage and they would have to spend a part of the evening finishing work they …
Tech company unveils universal charging cable that won’t fit any device
PALO ALTO — An exciting new product was revealed today that its creator claims will change the world by bringing people together “in global frustration.” “Finally we have …
Magnificent King of the Internet announces construction of 5000 beautiful new websites in his honour
INTERNET CITY – Speaking from the balcony of his glowing, digital e-palace, the resplendent King of the Internet announced this morning that he would commission 5000 beautiful new websites …
Friend who FaceTimed you with no warning text jailed
TORONTO – Toronto man Pat Kelly was jailed on Monday after attempting to FaceTime a close friend without first sending a courteous “I’m going to FaceTime you” text. The abrasive call came in arou…
New Whatsapp update automatically inundates users with 43 voice messages from aunt
WATERLOO, ON – The free messaging application Whatsapp announced an update earlier this week that would automatically send users 43 messages from their aunt. The new feature presents users …