CALGARY – After years of trying to pass one of the ubiquitous CAPTCHA tests that are designed to be inscrutable to artificial intelligences, local humanoid robot LV82245, known to her frien…
Tech
True Patriot! Man types Pornhub.ca into browser
WINNIPEG, MB – In a stunning display of patriotism, Winnipeg resident and proud Canadian Kyle Henderson has shuttered the blinds, locked the door, and typed ‘pornhub.ca’ into his incognito …
Frustrated browser refuses to show you any more internet until you close some tabs
YOUR DESKTOP – Following several years of putting up with your untidy web habits, your browser is putting its electronic foot down and is denying you any more internet until you deal with a…
Report: your screen time was down 9% from last week for an average of 14 hours a day
OTTAWA – After spending 16 hours and 15 minutes per day on your phone last week early reports from your iPhone screen time alert indicate that number is down to a marginally less alarming 1…
Zoom divorce proceeding concludes with somber finger guns
VANCOUVER – After a series of emotionally devastating negotiations, John and Claire Timmons ended their divorce proceeding via Zoom with a pair of cheerless, gloomy finger guns. “Zoom was p…
Local woman’s Spotify Year in Review very sad, very horny
EDMONTON – Yesterday, Spotify released their annual ‘Wrapped’ feature, which reveals users’ most played music from the past year. However not all were impressed, including Jillian Langdon, …
New photo filter shows what your data will look like when it’s shared with fascist governments
EDMONTON – Fresh on the heels of FaceApp’s popular old-age filter, social media users have discovered a shiny new plaything: ChonkyBrah, an app that shows with uncanny accuracy what it will…
Uber driver has good chuckle about how he almost killed you both
TORONTO – This week, an Uber driver nearly drove his car into oncoming traffic, then made brief eye contact with you in the rearview mirror while chuckling about it. Rather than pulling over, or …
Money finally arrives in your account after harrowing 5-day transfer
TORONTO – Overcoming seemingly impossible odds after having faced a gruelling heroic journey deep within the bowels of the financial system, the $67.89 you transferred from PayPal to your b…
BREAKING: Phone dead, laptop dead, iPad dead, in tragic technology massacre
MONCTON, NB — Three Apple products were pronounced dead at the scene this morning in what law enforcements are calling, “A technology triple homicide.” “It is difficult for me to comprehend…
