VAUGHAN, ON – Local woman, Caroline Burton, visited Lockpick Escape Rooms this past Thursday to play a new fantasy themed puzzle, “Deep Dungeons of the Darkspawn Guild” with her boyfriend, …
Relationship
Activist begins Tinder date with land acknowledgement
TORONTO – Upon seeing one another in-person for the first time at local dive bar Scrungie’s, internet activist Dillon Sanders introduced himself to his date Rebecca Holder by way of a cerem…
Second base now redefined as eating ass
PETERBOROUGH, ON – Due to a growing increase in sexual expression and a more prevalent hookup culture, the long-standing system of “bases” used to define the progression of sexual acts have…
9 out of 10 boyfriends wearing shirts they just found somewhere they can’t remember
MONTREAL — In a study done by Concordia University, it has officially been proven that 9 out of 10 boyfriends’ shirts come from somewhere that no boyfriend can remember. Following years of …
Toronto Sun hires eugenics expert to write new dating column
TORONTO – As part of their agenda to fight against the erosion of traditional Canadian values, The Toronto Sun announced today that they will be hiring a world-renowned eugenicist to write …
Proud furry activist reminds everyone that humans are technically also animals
GRANBY, QC – In an effort to find a common ground with the general public, a local furry has started a campaign to remind others that humans are technically also animals. Furries, a term co…
Most requested sex act of 2021 is telling straight men they’re ‘one of the good ones’
Barrie, ON – Replacing 2020’s ‘Pegging,’ studies say that the most requested sex act in North America for straight men is now telling them that they’re ‘one of the good ones.’ “Nothing gets…
Local woman excited to replace old crush on emotionally unavailable man with new crush on emotionally unavailable man
Toronto – After setting aside her longtime crush on one emotionally unavailable and manipulative man, local woman Bronwyn Taylor is pleased to report she is now crushing on a completely new…
Woman assembles crack team of six to determine if ex-boyfriend seeing someone new
STEINBACH, MB – 26-year-old Jacqueline Westan spent the majority of this past weekend alongside a specialized, crack team of six of her best friends in an attempt to identify whether or not…
Report: Most popular kink among millennials is role-playing as a couple that owns a house
BURNABY, BC – A published study out of Simon Fraser university on generational sexuality has found that the most popular sexual kink among millennials is roleplaying as a couple that owns a…
