CALGARY – Sources report that 27-year-old Elliot Greenwood has amazed and disturbed onlookers by bringing two bags of chips into bed with him. “I really like sour cream and onion, but I also real…
Local
Man clearly wants you to ask about his cape
WINNIPEG – According to friends and family, Winnipeg resident David Leiter has begun wearing a cape and is obviously hoping that people will ask him why. “I think Dave might’ve lost his job or h…
“Probs just urine,” says woman who sat in wet seat on bus
VANCOUVER, BC – On her commute to work, 30-year-old mother and elementary school teacher, Mya Diaz, sat in a wet seat on her B-Line bus, but reassured herself that the mysterious fluid was …
Wow! These 5 iconic Toronto landmarks would be even better as weed shops
TORONTO – We toured Toronto and discovered five iconic Toronto landmarks that would definitely be more loved as weed shops. Madison Avenue Pub – At 450 meters from the nearest weed st…
Local dad shovelling snow for hours clearly avoiding family
NORTH BATTLEFORD, SK – Local dad Todd Wolverton has been outside shovelling snow for an unnaturally long time, and experts suggest it may be that he is avoiding his family. “I think he’s be…
Man who just took bite out of scalding hot pizza going to ride this thing out until the bitter end
FREDERICTON – Recent reports have now confirmed that Tony Freedman, a local man who took an initial bite of incredibly hot pizza moments ago, plans to just keep that bite in his mouth until it’s …
Holiday newsletter slammed for pro-Henderson family bias in reporting
SUDBURY – The latest edition of Melissa Henderson’s yearly holiday newsletter is being slammed by numerous media watchdog groups for unfair reporting. The handwritten bulletin which summari…
Due to supply chain issues, local woman runs out of fucks to give
WINNIPEG – Due to ongoing supply chain issues across the country, a local woman has completely run out of fucks to give. Alexis Jenkins, 29, has historically given excessive fucks, otherwise know…
Lovable weirdo downgraded to just weirdo
KITCHENER, ON – Well, it’s official: Wade Thomas has been downgraded from the status of Lovable Weirdo to just plain Weirdo, sources say. The 32-year-old Kitchener man loves lizards, potato…
“Husky” boy knows exactly what that word means, thank you very much
SUDBURY, ON – Corey Ashford, a local 13 year-old-boy commonly referred to by friends and family as “husky”, has announced that he understands perfectly well what that word really means and does n…