OTTAWA – Demonstrating his support for vaccine choice, leading Conservative Party candidate Pierre Poilievre marched with a group of fired reservists who are afraid of needles. Poilievre pr…
Report: Rainbow doughnuts from your workplace really brightening bullied trans child’s day
CAMROSE, AB ― Lunchroom sources have confirmed that the Pride-themed doughnut you brought from work for your transgender daughter is making for a welcome break from her usual daily routine of bei…
Ontario NDP, Liberals celebrate defeating each other
TORONTO – Ontario NDP Leader Andrea Horwath and Liberal Leader Steven Del Duca celebrated the defeat of each others parties in the 2022 Ontario election. As results were reported last night…
Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. “Thank God,”…
US Supreme Court celebrates Mandatory Mother’s Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The US Supreme Court will mark Mandatory Mother’s Day in light of their recent draft decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. Six members of the court thanked moms everywhere fr…
Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has expressed frustration at an error in his leaked opinion on a pivotal abortion rights case in which he erroneously referred to women …
Ottawa police chief reminds officers not to join protests this time
OTTAWA – Ottawa interim police chief Steve Bell has reminded members of his force that they are not allowed to participate in any planned far-right protests this weekend despite what happen…
BC gov’t vows old-growth forests will be protected, varnished
VICTORIA – In honour of Earth Day, the BC Government has reaffirmed its commitment to protect the province’s remaining ancient, old-growth forests using a number of varnishes, stains, or se…
Calgary Police pause order to remove ‘thin blue line’ patch after realizing cops can’t follow simple instructions
CALGARY – The Calgary Police Service has paused an order from the Calgary Police Commission requiring all Calgary cops to remove the ‘thin blue line’ patches from their uniforms after large…
Thousands of Vancouver perverts delight in taking pictures of tree genitalia
VANCOUVER – Thousands of perverts, creeps, and peeping toms have taken countless photos from different angles of tree genitalia and shared them on social media. Scourges of sexual degenerat…