PARIS – Nobel Peace prize winner and advocate for access to education for women, Malala Yousafzai, escaped the clutches of religious oppressors in her native Pakistan seven years ago only t…
Trudeau opts to put out fire with kerosene
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took the bold step of putting out a fire out by pouring a bucket of kerosene on it. “I told myself: Justin, this has to end,” Trudeau said, with his j…
Amazon abandons plans for NYC HQ after no one home to accept delivery
NEW YORK – New Yorkers were left stunned and disappointed as Amazon cancelled its plans for a new headquarters in Queens when no one was home to accept delivery. “The UPS driver tried three…
Angry middle-aged white guy this year’s scariest Halloween costume
LOS ANGELES – Beating out more traditional horror villains, trend-spotters have declared “angry middle-aged white guy” this year’s scariest Halloween costume. Perennial icons of terror like…
Update: Quebec not distinct from Ontario and USA
QUEBEC CITY – After decades of claiming to be a society distinct from the rest of North America, Quebec went and did the same damn thing as Ontario and the USA. Despite centuries of being a…
South Korea mandates conscription of youth into K-Pop groups
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – As an escalation of the global culture war, South Korea has mandated the conscription of all its youth to serve time in a K-Pop group. At the age of seventeen all South…
Federal government thank wildfires for clearing path for Trans Mountain pipeline
KAMLOOPS, BC – The federal government is celebrating an unexpected windfall as it has discovered that the wildfires ravaging British Columbia have coincidentally cleared the path for the Tr…
Scarlett Johansson’s portrayal of trans man considered frontrunner for Best Actress at 2014 Oscars
HOLLYWOOD – The controversial casting of Scarlett Johansson as a trans man in the film Rub & Tug has placed her as the favourite to win the Best Actress award at the 2014 Academy Awards…
Producers of SLĀV cancel show to concentrate on new revue of songs of oppressed white people
MONTREAL – Singer Betty Bonifassi and director Robert Lepage have cancelled the remaining performances of SLĀV, a showcase of slave songs performed and directed primarily by white people, a…
Montreal’s retired Old Port carriage horses relocated to Calgary Stampede chuck wagon races
MONTREAL – A recently announced ban on horse-drawn carriages or “calèches” in the Old Port of Montreal has allowed calèche horses to move on to new and exciting careers in the c…