TORONTO – Walking back his comments from several months ago that young Ontarians are responsible for rising COVID case counts, Premier Doug Ford clarified that it’s not all young peop…
Diplomats who spent 4 years training for Beijing Olympics furious over boycott
OTTAWA – After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a diplomatic boycott for the upcoming Beijing Olympics, Canada’s diplomats are expressing outrage that they spent so long traini…
Single drop of sweat falls down local dad’s face as he tells daycare worker his child doesn’t have runny nose
TORONTO – As local father Jalen Hart told the worker asking COVID checklist questions at the front entrance of the Little Tot’s Playhouse daycare that his child Marcus did not have a …
Study: MPs spend majority of their time fantasizing about beating up Pierre Poilievre
OTTAWA – An independent study tracking how our elected Members of Parliament spend their day has found that, in average work week, the majority of an MPs time is spent sitting at their desk…
Canadian media promise to start reporting on RCMP raiding Wet’suwet’en territory once a few more American celebrities tweet about it
OTTAWA – Members of Canada’s national and local press are assuring Canadians that they will start to cover the RCMP’s violent and quite possibly illegal raid on sovereign Wet…
I bet you fucking idiots think I’m about to drop this puck
By: Dalton Henderson, NHL Linesman That’s right you fucking rubes, get in the faceoff circle and put your sticks in, because you think I’m about to drop this puck. Well spoiler alert …
Weatherman predicting thunderstorm condemned for encouraging rain
VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil &…
Top 10 medical exemptions granted to unvaccinated Conservative MPs
Canada’s Parliament resumed yesterday, and Erin O’Toole has announced that multiple Conservative MPs received medical exemptions to the requirement that everyone be vaccinated to ente…
COP26 delegates promise to announce plan to cut global emissions 45% by 2030 in 2031
GLASGOW – The UN Climate Change Summit concluded yesterday with delegates from the representative countries promising to release a detailed plan to meet the much needed 45% emission cut by …
Coca-Cola CEO admits the only reason they make mini cans is for dudes to use in their dick pics
ATLANTA – Coca-Cola CEO Bryan O’Malley acknowledged this morning what industry insiders had long suspected: that the only reason the company sells the 222ml mini can version is so guy…
