Jacob Duarte Spiel, Author at The Beaverton - Page 11 of 32

Armed poll-watcher forgets to vote

ASHE COUNTY, NC – After spending a full 13 hours standing next to his local polling station holding an AR-15, Arliss Connaught has suddenly realized that he forgot to vote. “Well shoot,” sa…

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Fuck-swing breaks day after warranty expires

BRANDON, MB – Despite assurances from the manufacturer that this would be “the last fuck-swing you’ll ever buy”, the SwayGasm Mk. IV purchased by Dave Lewis, 46, and Martha Lewis, 44, has b…

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