TORONTO – With the official announcement of Toronto gaining Canada’s first WNBA franchise, the city is buzzing about what the new expansion team will be called. The team won’t b…
Seinfeld slams woke student audiences: “Back when I dated high school girls, they found me hilarious!”
HOLLYWOOD – With his Netflix comedy film Unfrosted debuting to abysmal reviews, 70-year-old comedian Jerry Seinfeld blames the failure on “extreme left, and PC college campus audience…
Calgary unveils new slogan just in time for wildfire season
CALGARY – City officials have announced that Calgary’s official slogan will change to “Blue Sky City”, just in time for the beginning of the province’s annual Wildfi…
Deadpool & Wolverine to finally introduce Canada to Marvel Cinematic Universe
HOLLYWOOD – Superhero movie insiders report the upcoming film Deadpool & Wolverine will at long last introduce the long-rumoured nation of Canada to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Whil…
OJ Simpson funeral to feature ceremonial televised white bronco chase
LOS ANGELES – With the passing of former football star and double homicide enthusiast OJ Simpson, the family has announced that the funeral procession will take the form of a highly-televis…
Trump clarifies abortion stance as “whatever will convince you, personally, to vote for me”
PALM BEACH, FL – In a video statement taped at his Mar-a-Lago country club, former President Trump assured voters that his firmly held stance on abortion is also whatever stance will create…
Bats announce plans to fuck shit up during eclipse
OTTAWA – With Monday afternoon’s eclipse expected to occur mid-afternoon, bats from across the continent have announced that they will “fucking just go bananas” during the…
Trudeau plan: rent will count towards credit score for houses that renters still can’t afford
OTTAWA – A new proposal from Justin Trudeau’s Liberals would allow renters to include rental payments when calculating credit scores, while bidding on houses that they remain hopeless…
Sam Bankman-Fried’s cellmate sentenced to 25 years stuck with guy who won’t shut up about crypto
NEW YORK – Following the collapse of notorious online financial exchange site FTX, the future cellmate of finance mogul Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to 25 years stuck in a cell next to a…
UPDATE: Royal Family insists Kate has always had 3 hands, and King Charles is with her on a farm in the country
MARCH 18TH UPDATE: Buckingham Palace has re-confirmed reports made last week, saying that not only does Kate Middleton have three hands which she has always had, but that King Charles the Third, …
