SAN FRANCISCO – Internet encyclopedia Wikipedia revealed today that it will cease operation after suffering an insurmountable deficit of $3.00 this fiscal year. “Our accountants said …
BREAKING: Packed Shoppers Drug Mart refuses to bring out another cashier
BRAMALEA, ON — In a scene described by onlookers as “the usual”, a bustling Shoppers Drug Mart refused to bring out a cashier during peak shopping hours. A single cashier, Peggy…
Hamilton tick infestation fails to combat city’s Torontonian infestation
HAMILTON, ON – As the summer shifts into full swing, Hamilton residents have been placed on high alert with reports that the tick epidemic currently sweeping the city has failed to countera…
Marineland sets Orca fin to half-mast in honour of late founder
NIAGARA FALLS, ON — To honour the recent passing of Marineland owner John Holer, an Orca dorsal fin has been flown at half-mast in the beleaguered amusement park. “We really think it’s what…
Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner unsure who to vote for
GUELPH, ON – With the campaign for the Premiership of Ontario now well underway, Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner revealed that he is still undecided as to which party will earn h…