TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford announced this week that in order to calm public uncertainty about what Ontarians are supposed to be doing to keep themselves safe during the COVID-19 pandemic, the pr…
Government finally funds Canadian artists
OTTAWA – To the shock and disbelief of thousands of actors, musicians, and arts administrators across the country, the CERB payments necessitated by the COVID-19 outbreak have provided CanadaR…
LEGO recalls police sets after discovering pieces break down under slightest pressure
DENMARK – The LEGO corporation issued an announcement yesterday that it will be recalling all police-related toy sets after thousands of angry customers reported that the pieces broke down danger…
Staring baby obviously looking for a fight
TORONTO – A fight nearly broke out on a streetcar earlier today between a fully-grown adult man and a two-month-old baby named Benjamin. Onlookers reported seeing the infant begin the fight by st…
Thorough catcaller tells all mask-wearing women to smile
TORONTO – As more and more women don face masks in an attempt to protect themselves and others from the novel coronavirus, catcallers across the city are finding themselves growing increasingly f…
“Humans are the real problem,” posts man who is the real problem
WINDSOR – Bartender Steve Atkins posted a picture of swans swimming in the Venice canals on Facebook yesterday with the caption, “The animals of the world are returning. Humans are the real…
“It’s five o’clock somewhere,” chants self-isolating woman three times into mirror to summon wine delivery
TORONTO – As lockdown-induced boredom sets in across Canada, many people are turning to alcohol to liven up their socially-isolated lives. When faced with long LCBO lines and expensive delivery f…
Health workers agree being called a hero more effective than personal protective equipment
TORONTO – As COVID-19 continues to spread around the world, many hospitals are experiencing severe shortages of personal protective equipment needed to shield health care workers from the virus. …
Economists hate her! This woman makes $500 a week with one simple tool!
$$$ Social assistance EXPOSED! $$$ Recently laid-off woman reveals shocking secret trick your employer doesn’t want you to know! Top-secret government hack UNCOVERED: $8000 in cash for struggling…
Quarantined couple attempt to spice up relationship by putting pants on
TORONTO – Monica Gonzales and Tom Meyer, a couple living in downtown Toronto, had been self-isolating together for over a month when they felt their relationship growing stale. The couple, …
