VANCOUVER – According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of British Columbia, the most effective way for employees to uncover horrifying typos in important company-wide emails is to simply send them.
“We found that regardless of how many times a test subject would read, re-read, and edit the email, the only statistically proven method of immediately detecting crucial errors was to just click that “send” button,” explained the study’s lead researcher Dr. Amy Kwan. “What was even more fascinating was the discovery that the more important the email, the more embarrassing typos our subjects would find.”
“For example, a simple quarterly status report would generally yield around one to two common spelling errors, but an email introducing the new Regional Manager to the entire company would yield no fewer than five mistakes and one instance of referring to the boss as ‘mom’ in a fascinating Freudian autocorrect disaster.”
Marcel Johnson, one of the participants in the study, revealed that he chose to sign up after being forced to quit his job at RBC after experiencing one too many typographical mishaps.
“The last straw was when I triple-checked an email to my boss explaining that I deserved a raise,” he said, grimacing at the terrible memory. “I even showed it to several coworkers and my wife before I sent it, just to make sure. They all assured me it was word perfect. But literally ten seconds after I hit ‘send,’ I noticed that instead of writing ‘Thank you so much’ at the very end, I had typed ‘Love you so much.’ I put in my resignation that afternoon and left before I had to look my boss in the eye.”
Dr. Kwan admitted that her primary decision to study this particular technological phenomenon was after losing a particularly valuable employee to what her office only referred to as “The Mistaken Dick Pic Incident.”
“I just want to help people keep their jobs,” she said, patting a participant on the back in an attempt to comfort them after they realized their email had stated that they would get back to a client in ‘just a sex.’ “If you’re going to ruin your career in a truly public fashion, you should at least be aware of it before it happens.”
The study also found that it was statistically impossible to type the phrase “Please find the file attached below” without accidentally attaching a drunk picture of yourself from 2002 instead.