HOUSTON – The Houston chapter of the American Red Cross has issued a desperate plea for thoughts and prayers as Hurricane Harvey inundates southern Texas with record rainfall and devastatin…
Steve Bannon leaves White House in search of whiter house
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Stephen K. Bannon, White House strategist and de facto leader of the uncivil rights movement, has resigned from his post as the president’s most trusted advisor, citing a…
Norfolk Ledger-Dispatch apologizes for error in 1945 headline
NORFOLK, VA – The Norfolk Ledger-Dispatch, the paper of record for Norfolk, Virginia, has issued a correction to a 1945 story that indicated that Nazi organizations were no longer functioni…
Entire G7 waits for Trump to leave so they can start real summit
SICILY – After two days of shuffling blank papers and waving shiny objects, heads of state from G7 countries have begun preparing for the actual summit scheduled to commence after Donald Tr…
Chelsea Manning released from prison, excited for new career as Twitter abuse victim
UNITED STATES – Private Chelsea Elizabeth Manning, who was released from confinement on May 17th following seven years in a military prison, has expressed enthusiasm that she can now pursue…
British Columbia Election 2017: Party Platforms
BC voters head to the polls on May 9th. Here are some of the major policies for the three largest parties: BC Liberal Party Education: Buy hardhats for teachers willing to do photo ops Transporta…
Americans substitute ‘hang in there kitty’ posters for ‘ostrich with head in sand’
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – As the dust settled on the first week of the new U.S. administration, millions of Americans sought to redecorate for the impending apocalypse by tearing down thei…
Trudeau returns from island vacay with souvenir ethics investigation
OTTAWA – A well-rested and freshly dreamy Prime Minister Trudeau returned from an island vacation in the Bahamas Monday with that “new controversy smell” after purchasing an ethics investig…
Congress delivers final insult to Obama by keeping White House security deposit
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With less than two weeks left in the White House, U.S. President Barack Obama was surprised to discover Congress would not be returning the $650 security deposit he gave …
Quiz: Which criminally negligent human on ‘Paw Patrol’ are you?
If you’re a three-year-old, then you know Paw Patrol is a morning cartoon about six delightful puppies heroically protecting the good citizens of Adventure Bay. If you’re the parent of a three-ye…