OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced he will step down from the Liberal Party leadership – as soon as a newer, worthier Trudeau comes forward to take his place. Trudeau, who has h…
“Get well soon!” says woman who doesn’t understand how chronic illness works
KITCHENER, ON – A local office worker who completely misunderstands how chronic illness works has reportedly told her chronically ill coworker to “get well soon!” Linda Campbell, 53, sent t…
Op-Ed: The new Tragically Hip doc is great, but will it be successful in the U.S.?
By @BradLikesMusic420 Look. I love the Hip as much as the next guy who loves to tell everyone how much he loves the Hip. And I love that there’s a new docuseries that gives me even more reason to…
WestJet debuts new slogan: “Air Canada, but somehow worse.”
CALGARY – WestJet has finally embraced its reputation as one of Canada’s most reviled airlines with the debut of its new company slogan: “Air Canada, but somehow worse.” The slogan was initially …
Wizard? This woman timed her edible to the end of her workday
NANAIMO, BC – Local woman Michelle Jennings has been labelled as some form of all-seeing sorceress after perfectly timing her edible to the end of her workday. Jennings, who largely works from ho…
Op-Ed: 30 days without Loblaws: how it improved my skin, digestion, and sex life
Op-Ed by Gayle N. Easton This past month, I decided to participate in Canada’s hottest trend since last summer’s troubling climate change temperatures: the national Loblaws boycott. I already gav…
Olympic anti-sex beds to be donated to college dorms
PARIS – After much deliberation leading up to this year’s event, the International Olympics Committee has decided what to do with the Olympic Village’s infamous anti-sex beds – they will donate t…
“I didn’t get that job because I have a dick!” says man who just is a dick
CALGARY – Local man Peter Johnson claims he was rejected from a job he applied for because he has a dick, when sources confirm that he is, in fact, simply a dick. “They’re discriminating against …
BREAKING: Greece legalizes Greek food
ATHENS, GREECE – The government of Greece has proudly announced that they have legalized the country’s long-standing tradition of eating Greek cuisine. “Is it possible people were doing this in G…
Checked luggage takes year off to travel
WARSAW, POLAND – A piece of checked luggage on a recent domestic Canadian flight has decided to take the year off to travel. “Ever since I came out of the closet last week, I’ve felt this urge to…
