TORONTO– With fancy restaurants’ doors closed nationwide, many bougie businesses have turned to delivery apps, entrusting their delicate dishes to hungover teenagers riding bicycles. This has become an issue for some riders, including Harwinder Abdi, who has been tasked with delivering a soufflé.
“Why would the restaurant even take this order?”, complained Abdi. “They know it’s impossible to deliver a soufflé before it collapses. Who am I? Lance Armstrong?”
“As soon as it leaves the oven, air starts escaping, and then it’s a matter of time”, added Abdi. “You ever try to re-inflate a soufflé with a bicycle pump? Don’t. It makes the situation exponentially worse.”
Unfortunately for Abdi, this was just the latest in a series of difficult orders. Just this week he has been asked to deliver a shaker of vermouth and fruit punch and do flare bartending like Tom Cruise in Cocktail, pour warm chocolate sauce into a lava cake, and use his go to weed lighter to ignite a flambe.”
“The flambe guy didn’t even tip, and the shaker got stuck in an eavestrough” said Abdi. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta find another order to make my money back on this soufflé. Anyone know how to sing happy birthday in Italian? A kid on College street is having a birthday.”
Hopefully things soon simplify for Mr. Abdi and the entire food-freightage industry, but with the hot weather and ice cream cone cravings, things will likely only get worse before they get better.
