RUINS OF TORONTO – A group of starving Canadians from the year 2050 lamented on the ill-fated 2019 election, the last chance the country had to save itself and the world from a climate change apocalypse.
Feeling betrayed by the promise that the 2019 election would be about stopping the impending climate disaster and humanity’s extinction, exhausted and tattered Canadians shook their fists at the sky and scorned their former political leaders and the media.
“And to think some of us believed that he was a leader, and not some privileged frat boy,” lamented Harrietta Mendez huddling near a small fire in the wasteland that was once a beautiful park. “Why, oh why, couldn’t he dress as something less offensive like Lawerence of Arabia instead of Aladdin at that gala? Dark makeup was like a magnet to that guy’s face.”
Despite repeated warnings from scientists and the public, the warming of the climate failed to receive any coverage by members of the media after pictures of Justin Trudeau dressed as Stevie Wonder, Muhammad Ali, and all of the Jackson 5 came to light later in the campaign.
“Had Andrew Scheer apologized and said he’s changed his view on gay marriage, he might have had time to develop some sort of real climate change policy instead of one given to him by the oil and gas industry,” said a tattered 70-year-old Chris Klein, a former Bay Street lawyer whose house was obliterated in the flood of 2042. “Are you going to finish your grass or can I have it?”
“Perhaps if the NDP and Greens didn’t have such a catty fights for third place, voters would have taken them seriously,” said another survivor placing a piece of coal into the fire. “I miss having trees.”
“How Prime Minister Bernier got elected in 2025, we’ll never know, but giving that guy a platform to spout his climate change denialism in the 2019 national debate was a real mistake,” added Mendez trying not to choke on the thick smoke from nearby forest fires.
The conversation was abruptly cut short after the arrival of another Category 9 hurricane.
