Florida – A group of returning astronauts have been trying to find the perfect moment to bring up ‘the bad thing’ they saw in space.
“Before reaching Entry Interface we all agreed that we’d bring up the bad thing as soon as we exited the spacecraft,” said an ashen-faced astronaut Paul Jones. “But then we got out and they all looked so happy and excited, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to ruin the moment to tell them about the bad thing.”
The ‘bad thing’, which now haunts the astronauts’ every waking moment and has rendered sleep all but impossible, was first discovered during a routine space walk a day before their return to Earth.
“You certainly expect to see some wild stuff when you go to space. But this… Gee whiz…. I mean… This… No, no, no, no.” said Jones before wandering off and muttering calculations under his breath.
While it is normal for Astronauts to need some time to re-acclimatize themselves upon returning to earth, a few NASA engineers did pick up on the astronauts’ caginess.
“Typical astronauts. Happens every goddamn time they get back. They act all holier-than-thou. Refusing to make eye contact, smashing consoles, stuffing bread down their pants, ripping out their fingernails …
“Actually, come to think of it they’re all acting super weird.”
At press time the astronauts were spotted staring at the sky and screaming in abject terror.
