CALGARY, AB — During a wholly organic social media exchange, users grew increasingly frustrated at the strident Alberta separatists from an account named @TruePatriot382 who, sources say, is a genuine human being and not part of a US-backed psychological operation to control Canada’s oil reserves, the third largest in the world.
“Time to cut loose from this socialist state propped up by OUR OIL money and join the fight for FREEDOM,” commented the account at 2:36am after racking up over 300 replies in the last 48 hours, a feat that feels like it could only be possible with a CIA bot, but was actually just a guy with too much time on his hands.
“I can’t wait for the referendum. And if they don’t like it, I say it’s time for TRUMP TO LIBERATE ALBERTA!!” @TruePatriot382 went on to post, adding an equal amount of Canadian and American flag emojis. “Alberta 51st!!”
While @TruePatriot382 continued to post at a curious rate of 150 messages per hour, other social media users questioned whether this was a CIA-backed operative working to sow discontent in a foreign region, or just a crazy guy who’s probably unemployed.
“Is this dude for real?” wondered Red Deer resident Kyle Shannons, regarding the borderline treasonous rhetoric coming from an account featuring a “Republic of Alberta” profile picture along with several photos of pick up trucks. “Like isn’t this exactly what Putin did before invading Ukraine? Blanked regions already sympathetic to Russia with disinformation?”
X user Reggie Simks, of Airdre, echoed the skepticism. “Didn’t Danielle Smith literally advise Trump on how to proceed to get the electoral outcome they wanted? And with AI, isn’t it easier than ever to automate this?” adding that if this guy wasn’t an American asset he sure as hell was acting like one.
“This guy seems to get a lot of facts about Canada wrong,” notes user Jeoff Burkle of Edmonton. “Like he calls it ‘Kraft Macaroni and Cheese’, or says he’s gonna drive from Vancouver over to Halifax to pick up lunch. Also, he keeps tweeting about how the CIA ‘were actually the good guys’ in the Bourne Identity movies.”
At press the CIA has reassured the Canadian government that they would never destabilize a democratically elected government for oil.
