Oakville, ON – Local man Nicholas Burnaby says that, as a homeowner, he would be happy to see any solution implemented that helps people afford to buy and rent necessary housing as long as it doesn’t raise his property taxes or lower the value of his home.
“I feel so bad for people who can’t afford to live in the city where their jobs, family and friends are and I really hope the government finds a solution to this mess,” said Burnaby. “As long as that doesn’t make me pay more in property taxes than a renter spends for 2 months in a basement apartment or stops me from feeling like a brilliant investor because the home I bought for 850k 15 years ago is now worth 2.3 million.”
“But other than those 2 small conditions I’m up for anything really.”
Burnaby is one of many Canadians who are hoping the municipal, provincial and federal governments are able to come together and find a way to help those not lucky enough to get on the property ladder due to a loan from their parents that does not involve asking those who did to sacrifice even more than they already have.
“My home is my nest egg,” said Burnaby. “In a few years when I retire I’ll be able to use the proceeds from this to travel and live the lifestyle I deserve.” When asked where he would live given the extreme costs of even smaller homes and condos Burnaby stopped, stared into the middle distance for a long time and finally said “but, but my net worth excel chart says I’m rich. I’m rich right?”
In related news Burnaby also believes the government needs to act quickly to confront climate change in a way that doesn’t require him to alter his behaviour in any way.