TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford insisted that he knew nothing about his finance minister’s trip to the Caribbean Island of St. Barts by claiming his Zoom background of palm trees and white sand looked a lot like the GTA city of Ajax.
“I was deceived by Rod, and I’m very disappointed in him,” said Ford who claims that he knew nothing about the whereabouts of his top lieutenant in cabinet for over two weeks. “I just assumed, like everyone else on the Zoom call, that Ajax was an exotic paradise reserved for the filthy rich.”
Ford said he believed the sailboats and yachts seen floating in a shallow, cyan blue ocean pictured directly behind Rod Phillips during regular cabinet meetings was Ajax’s famed waterfront park.
“Doesn’t everyone wear shorts and t-shirts in the middle of December in Ajax?” asked Ford with a shrug.
In another meeting Ford insisted that the tiki bar Phillips was drinking at was part of Ajax’s sad casino.
“He better bring the cabinet something from the St. Barts gift shop to show us that he’s really sorry for what he did,” demanded Ford.
At press time, Phillips said he deeply regrets getting caught.
