VANCOUVER – The Lower Mainland is witnessing an explosive increase in the area’s Mothman population, with experts calling it the largest cryptid infestation they’ve seen in decades.
“Outbreaks like this tend to be cyclical, with the number of Mothmen surging every twenty years or so,” says local cryptobiologist Dr. Caroline DeKnight. While the public is expressing some discontent at the swarms of two-metre tall creatures with glowing red eyes currently flying around Vancouver, Dr. DeKnight says this is a perfectly natural increase in their numbers given their life-cycle and is nothing to be alarmed about.
Native to the American state of West Virginia, the Mothman has slowly been spreading across North America for the last half century as global warming makes formerly hostile environments like the B.C. coast more habitable to the winged humanoid.
“It’s commonly believed that Mothmen are harbingers of doom, but when they present in the kind of numbers we’re currently seeing they’re far more likely to be harbingers of irritation, usually as a result of their own presence,” Dr. DeKnight says. “It’s not uncommon for them to cause car accidents by distracting drivers, and more than one individual has been startled into having a heart attack when one of these massive flying critters drops suddenly out of the sky to feed on a discarded hot dog or soft pretzel.”
Vancouver’s North Shore has been particularly inundated during this surge, with most residents unable to open their windows at night without letting in several of the creatures who then proceed to fly around in a panic, which (given their three-metre wingspan) often leads to injury and property damage until the resident is able to shoo them back outside.
“Mothmen are an invasive species, and we can’t yet say what their increased numbers mean for native cryptids like the Thunderbird, Sasquatch, and Ogopogo,” Dr. DeKnight says. “All we can do is hope the Mothman manages to adapt to our environment without causing the kind of damage the American Emo Vampire has wrought in the area after it migrated here from the U.S. over a decade ago.”
Experts believe the current infestation will die down when the temperature drops later in the year but are cautioning that if it’s a mild winter or the Mothmen evolve the ability to purchase winter jackets they may become a year-round pest.
