Oakland, CA – In the wake of a video clearly showing that he assaulted Raptors president Masai Ujiri, Oakland deputy Alan Strickland has amended his lawsuit to claim that Ujiri’s chest and stomach caused permanent injuries to his hands.
“As everyone can see from the video, Ujiri’s chest, shoulders and stomach made a hard, violent impact on my balled up fists,” said Strickland at a press conference, his hands now wrapped up in elaborate bandages and resting on a small pillow. “I don’t think my hands will ever be the same.”
“I need my hands to do my job. Now how am I going to throw suspects against a wall or subtly plant a baggie of cocaine in a passenger seat. My loss of income claim alone is going to be in the millions,” he added.
Strickland then got up, attached his neck brace and limped away on crutches for some reason.
The video depicts Ujiri approaching the floor shortly after the Raptors’ won, clearly happy and displaying the credentials allowing him access. According to Strickland’s amended Statement of Claim he then, with no provocation at all, chose to throw his midsection at Strickland’s fists. Shockingly he then backed up and threw his stomach at him again.
“This just proves what the world has been saying: if police officers’ fists are being attacked in full view of witnesses and cameras, what is happening when the cameras are turned off and no one is around?” said an Oakland police union spokesperson.
Strickland is seeking damages in the amount of $1,000,000.00. However his lawyer said he may accept less if he receives a personal apology from Ujiri and everyone on twitter currently pointing out what a dickhead he is.
