GATINEAU, QC – People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier was removed from the political caucus he founded after signing the mandatory ‘no-embarrassment’ pledge for riding association members.
“I pledge that I have done or said nothing in the past, and will do or say nothing in the future, that would embarrass the party,” read Bernier out loud after penning his name at the bottom of the document.
“Oh…Oh no! What have I done?” he yelled as party officials escorted him out of the People’s Party office headquarters.
“Following Maxime’s advice, we had to get rid of the troublemakers before this election started,” explained an acting People’s Party President writing from his reddit account from the canada subreddit. “Mr. Bernier reportedly left secret documents at his girlfriend’s house while he was Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2008, which was really embarrassing for our membership. We would also like to clarify that our party does not endorse far-right dog-whistling terms term as ‘extreme multiculturalism.’”
Officials also distanced themselves from Bernier citing his interview with far-right organizations such as Rebel Media, tweets that downplayed the consequences of climate change, as well as wearing white after Labour Day.
“We also predicted that Mr. Bernier would likely embarrass the party in the future,” added the official, “like quoting Ayn Rand in the middle of an election debate or splitting the right-wing vote to give Trudeau another majority.”
